While I was typing my Paris ~ We Love You post, a message popped up on my computer screen, warning me that my track pad’s batteries were about to die. It didn’t occur to me that I could probably find my old mouse and give it a quick charge. Instead, I searched, with no luck, for the spare AA batteries I keep for such emergencies.
Dressed in black velour drawstring pajama bottoms; an unflattering black adidas shirt; cream, pink and metallic gold bouclé (Chanel style) Bob’s slippers and white socks, I imagined being accosted by Stacy London of “What Not To Wear” in the parking lot of Target. I only needed two AA batteries. Was it worth the risk to make a run for it?
I decided it was. I slipped out of my bouclé slippers into a pair of black metallic Uggs style boots and grabbed my black hooded jacket from Costco. I put a headband in my hair to draw any attention upward. I was a fashion disaster.
As I was leaving the house, Mamba insisted on accompanying me.
I put her little pink skull and cross bones parka on and we drove to Target.
After parking in the furthest spot, I carried Mamba to the store. Aware that Stacy could pop out at any minute, I walked briskly, so as not to draw attention to myself.
When I reached the entry doors I saw the sign, the sign that says, “No Pets”. A fleeting thought that “she is NOT a pet” did cross my mind. But then I realized Target wouldn’t likely agree. I did an about-face and hurriedly walked back to the car, leaving Mamba safely locked in.
I returned to Target again. As the second set of entry doors closed behind me, I heard a screaming alarm outside. I knew it wasn’t my car. I had never heard my alarm, but this was not the sort of sound my car would make.
For some reason, I felt drawn to walk back through the two sets of doors and look in the direction of my car. SHOCKINGLY, my car’s lights were flashing and the screaming alarm seemed to be coming from the same direction! A small crowd gathered and one man mentioned that it was the second time he had seen me walk that way.
How could my alarm be tripped? I wondered if Mamba was being kidnapped (she is that cute). I clicked the remote and the blaring racket went away, but now I had to rescue my girl.
Since I had come this far, I wasn’t going home now! I found a blanket in the car and covered Mamba.
I went back to Target, for the 3rd time. This time holding Mamba like a baby. I figured now Stacy would assume I recently gave birth and extend grace to me for the way I was dressed.
I talked to Mamba and patted her through the blanket as I decided to look for lightbulbs and gift wrap. Mamba was a perfect angel and stayed still all of the way through the store.
While I was paying for the batteries, lightbulbs, and giftwrap, the cashier reached for the blanket exposing Mamba’s hairy black leg. I did my best to explain, but my words did nothing to ease the look of horror on the poor guy’s face.